The huswife's guide to

No, every day you are responsible for vulnerable little people who can't even wipe their own asses. You cook them food. You pour them drinks. You clean up the mess that you told them not to get out in the first place. 

You might go out, do crafts, learn something, bake, spend that quality time together.

You might scream as they destroy the folded pile of laundry, the 5th one you did today.

It's definitely not the stressful days that remind me it's easy. Those days, all on their own, are sometimes mind numbingly difficult. They're the days you sit and cry and wonder if you will ever be a good parent and know what the hell you're doing.

It's not even the good days that remind me it's easy. Sure we laugh and smile together and I might even actually enjoy my time with my kids, but I compare these days to the difficult ones and I wonder why can't I be a good parent all the time.

No, it's the days where I am the worst parent in the world. The ones where nothing gets done, my kids watch cartoons for eight hours, where I fall sleep and stay in bed all afternoon. The ones where my HG is acting up or I've contracted an illness or they have kept me up all night or all three. The ones where I feel my life has no value - when my job is homemaker and parent and I do neither. 

On those days I notice my 7 year old who has caught me with my eyes closed shuts my door. On those days my 5 year old sits next to me and strokes my arm. On those days my 2 year old wakes up at my side in bed, hungry from missing lunch because we fell asleep, and smiles sweetly at me. 

Being at home with your kids is not relaxing, it's not a way to be a better parent, and it certainly isn't glorious from day to day but it is something that no other job can ever do so well. 

It's forgiving.

And that forgiveness, when I don't even know how I can forgive myself for not doing enough or yelling too much or laying in bed, is what makes this job easy.